2nd Post and later that day;

Well did my homework and it was alright, but now I am depressed, I keep begging my mother to give me some more of my depression pills..though she won't let me have anymore, she gave me some vitamin C or D I forget which..I took it..don't feel any better yet really.. I need something to do so that I can get my mind off of this..Maybe this is just a rant, maybe not who knows? I guess you heh. Someday I get upset over my friends and feel like im not really their friends, maybe its just my depression, maybe not..But I am sick of being depressed, I want this out of me I can't do this much more *sigh*. Some people think that they can talk to you after 6 months of not talking at all and its all fine right? Wrong I can see if there was a reason but meh, now by talking I mean having a conversation, aka me talking to them but them never talking back for the last 6 months, but meh... Another friend of mine seems distant..Shes always busy when I try to talk to her anymore... Maybe its just me I dunno..Guess I should'nt care right? I dunno..I want to live without other people some days, that way I wouldn't feel as bad..I guess...No idea I can't stand this, my teeth hurt too still from my operation of 2 or so weeks ago and the infection I got, my cheek was the size of a tenis ball..and that was coming from a doctor..lol... Some days I feel like I understand how rebdoomer (One of the columbine shooters) about not caring for your own life..Though I would never do such a stupid thing..Sick bastards..I don't know if I have enough credits to pass highschool...I could do this but this damn depresson..Some days I just wish I felt better...I would beg someone on my hands and knees to cure it if it was possible..I don't even feel like standing up..I have to literly wind my self up to live anymore...Hopefully it will pan out...or something...Oh my home room teacher says he *Has* to come and see us at our homes or else they will kick me out of school, which is sorta retarded but what ever...Oh I get a free shirt so atleast that..But its gonna suck..Hes entering my territory and will make me nervous..well any way it would.. I don't really know what to do..I want to live without depresson..Well...Signing off for now..